Driving in Dallas

Driving in Dallas is a daily challenge. The mix of pick up trucks and mildly retarded individuals wreak havoc on our roads.

Things to know about pick up trucks if driving in the DFW Metroplex:

Trucks:

Trucks think they have right of way in every situation

...always HAVE TO go at least 20 miles over the speed limit even in school zones

...Never use turn signal

Never obey traffic laws (Will Uturn when there is a sign not to, turn left on right only lanes

Will always be 1/2 an inch from your bumper until you move

Always speed up to block you if you use your turn signal

Will NEVER let you in if there is traffic

will NEVER get behind you, only in front, even if they run out of pavement.

Will NEVER yield for pets, pedestrians, priests

Will always have bumper stickers that say, "If you can read this BACK THE HELL

OFF" or "Smith And Wesson is my Co-pilot" or "Jesus is coming, Look Busy" and you always read these AFTER THEY CUT YOU OFF!

Will always drive the same no matter what the weather, and will always pass and honk at you on 3 inches of ice (Hell they have 4X4 suspension why don't you?)

Will always wonder what right you have to be on their road.

I think it's all a control issue, these people have little control over their lives, but when they are in a 3 ton vehicle, in front of someone, on a one way, one lane road, all the sudden they are in control of someone's time and speed. (These people will always speed up once another lane opens, but hey, for a few fleeting moments they were in control!)

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You know when there is a wreck and four lanes are down to one? There are these people who feel they are too important to wait in line. They drive in the abandoned lanes, right up to the blockage and expect someone who has been waiting for twenty mins to let them in. Please, for the love of whoever you worship, don’t let these wastes of space in, let them hit you, it would be their fault and you would have many witnesses on your side. These people need shock treatment.

Then there is the merge-hog. No matter the circumstances of the merge, they will never yield. You are supposed to obey the zipper pattern when merging. But that does not apply to these people. “Didn’t you see me coming, I’m in a 50 thousand dollar vehicle, make way Peasant” , “Hey, look out Boy, I’ll crush your tiny car like a roach with my penis-extension, I mean my Huge Pick-‘em Up Truck”

Any of this sound like you? Think about it the next time you get behind the wheel.

This is only my warped view, yours may differ