Valentines Day: The Social Rejects Point of View

Valentines day The Social Rejects point of view:

Having always been fat, awkward, out of touch with fashion, music and sports. No interest in politics, finance, etc. I have never had a wife, fiancé, girlfriend, friend with benefits, crush, puppy love, flirtation, or even casual female acquaintance. The last person I gave a valentine to was my entire first grade class and that included guys. So on this Valentines Day I can offer no words of wisdom on how to make a woman happy. It would benefit you more to ask the average 12 year old; they at least have been to a "Rainbow Party" or had 5 mins in Heaven. I was always left out of those kind of games, hell I wasn’t even invited to the parties where they took place. So I never spun the bottle, played truth or dare, or force field.

When a female looks at me they immediately count me out of anything besides a hello, and usually not even that. When a female does talk to me it's usually a snarky remark regarding my weight. I was coming out of an on the border once, I smiled and held the door open for a nice looking girl who said "Did you leave any food for us?" This was 15 years ago but it still haunts my subconscious and deters my self esteem. This is the one time a woman spoke to me that didn’t have to. Even then, Waitress, hostesses, even the prostitutes I have been to don't make eye contact, and get whatever it is they are being forced to do over with as soon as possible. Waitresses would rather not get a tip then have to smile at me and treat me with any respect, or make me feel that they are interested in anything but business. I can't get a good haircut from a female because they can't stand the thought of touching me. They never ask if I want a shampoo first because that would be too intimate of a setting for them, even if it means more money in their pocket. If there are no male stylists I will give the woman stylist the option whether or not to take me. It's better than them speeding it up get it over with and I end up with a crooked cut.

When I walk through a parking lot women get in their cars and lock the doors, sometime with groceries still in the cart. Mothers gather and hold on to their children as I walk by. I am denied jobs and business opportunities. I had a supervisor who did not want me to help sell their gourmet products to in house customers because he thought they would lose their appetite and start thinking about cutting down. FAT GUY= BAD FOR BUSINESS!

Having recently lost 50 pounds I have learned that "FAT IS FAT" Even if you used to weigh 500 pounds, people only see how you are now, and if you are 15 or more pounds overweight, forget your social life. No matter how good I feel about myself having gotten this far, when I walk down the street people say "God Damn that's a big fat F**K!" So it doesn’t' matter if I weigh 298 or 248, to a woman it's still a big FAT NO! People look at fat folks as lazy, slovenly, and even stupid! All I know is there are a lot of lazy, slovenly, and very stupid guys I know who have more women than they know what to do with, the only difference: THEY ARE THIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So F**k Valentines day, have fun all you beautiful, thin, successful people! I am staying home and watching Star Trek.

Driving in Dallas

Driving in Dallas is a daily challenge. The mix of pick up trucks and mildly retarded individuals wreak havoc on our roads.

Things to know about pick up trucks if driving in the DFW Metroplex:

Trucks:

Trucks think they have right of way in every situation

...always HAVE TO go at least 20 miles over the speed limit even in school zones

...Never use turn signal

Never obey traffic laws (Will Uturn when there is a sign not to, turn left on right only lanes

Will always be 1/2 an inch from your bumper until you move

Always speed up to block you if you use your turn signal

Will NEVER let you in if there is traffic

will NEVER get behind you, only in front, even if they run out of pavement.

Will NEVER yield for pets, pedestrians, priests

Will always have bumper stickers that say, "If you can read this BACK THE HELL

OFF" or "Smith And Wesson is my Co-pilot" or "Jesus is coming, Look Busy" and you always read these AFTER THEY CUT YOU OFF!

Will always drive the same no matter what the weather, and will always pass and honk at you on 3 inches of ice (Hell they have 4X4 suspension why don't you?)

Will always wonder what right you have to be on their road.

I think it's all a control issue, these people have little control over their lives, but when they are in a 3 ton vehicle, in front of someone, on a one way, one lane road, all the sudden they are in control of someone's time and speed. (These people will always speed up once another lane opens, but hey, for a few fleeting moments they were in control!)

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You know when there is a wreck and four lanes are down to one? There are these people who feel they are too important to wait in line. They drive in the abandoned lanes, right up to the blockage and expect someone who has been waiting for twenty mins to let them in. Please, for the love of whoever you worship, don’t let these wastes of space in, let them hit you, it would be their fault and you would have many witnesses on your side. These people need shock treatment.

Then there is the merge-hog. No matter the circumstances of the merge, they will never yield. You are supposed to obey the zipper pattern when merging. But that does not apply to these people. “Didn’t you see me coming, I’m in a 50 thousand dollar vehicle, make way Peasant” , “Hey, look out Boy, I’ll crush your tiny car like a roach with my penis-extension, I mean my Huge Pick-‘em Up Truck”

Any of this sound like you? Think about it the next time you get behind the wheel.

This is only my warped view, yours may differ